My teeth hurt, yo, so I am eating soft foods and trying to figure out how to use a damn water pik (plus brush, plus floss.) So far I am a fetching failure at this braces game. I don't remember it being this difficult before... A guy at the grocery store made me smile, then laugh, and I did that ridiculous squish-your-lips-closed-over-braces thing that wrinkles your chin. Wow. Told you I'd be a big dork. Have decided I must embrace my brace-filled smile in all it's potentially gunk filled glory. Have I mentioned that I'm vain? Also, has anybody else noticed how braces make your entire smile kind of undefined? I mean your lips look like earthworms after the rain ('cuz they don't know what they're doing on top of those stupid brackets) and your teeth look kind of blurry. Oy. And vay.
Anyway, I made pudding- the old fashioned kind that you have to stir constantly over medium heat until it boils. Well, first off, I am not a big cow stuffs fan, so I used soy milk. (First mistake.) And then, I decided to eat soup in between stirring. Constantly. I swear. (Second and probably third mistakes. Where's the soap?) So, it burned on the bottom of the pan which flavored my vanilla pudding (there wasn't any chocolate left at the store) with a nice burned taste. And I swear (when will I ever stop? Help me, Jesus!) to you that it now tastes exactly AND PRECISELY like animal crackers. Yes. Cold, wobbly animal crackers with skin on top. (Who knew soy milk could do that for you?)
Well, that, and the fact that I had a big lipgloss-on-my-braces fiasco already, are all the news that's fit to print.