My teeth hurt, yo, so I am eating soft foods and trying to figure out how to use a damn water pik (plus brush, plus floss.) So far I am a fetching failure at this braces game. I don't remember it being this difficult before... A guy at the grocery store made me smile, then laugh, and I did that ridiculous squish-your-lips-closed-over-braces thing that wrinkles your chin. Wow. Told you I'd be a big dork. Have decided I must embrace my brace-filled smile in all it's potentially gunk filled glory. Have I mentioned that I'm vain? Also, has anybody else noticed how braces make your entire smile kind of undefined? I mean your lips look like earthworms after the rain ('cuz they don't know what they're doing on top of those stupid brackets) and your teeth look kind of blurry. Oy. And vay.
Anyway, I made pudding- the old fashioned kind that you have to stir constantly over medium heat until it boils. Well, first off, I am not a big cow stuffs fan, so I used soy milk. (First mistake.) And then, I decided to eat soup in between stirring. Constantly. I swear. (Second and probably third mistakes. Where's the soap?) So, it burned on the bottom of the pan which flavored my vanilla pudding (there wasn't any chocolate left at the store) with a nice burned taste. And I swear (when will I ever stop? Help me, Jesus!) to you that it now tastes exactly AND PRECISELY like animal crackers. Yes. Cold, wobbly animal crackers with skin on top. (Who knew soy milk could do that for you?)
Well, that, and the fact that I had a big lipgloss-on-my-braces fiasco already, are all the news that's fit to print.
Regressing,
H+P
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Aw, I'm sure you're a cute 14 year old. You should try to go to high school to see if you can blend in.
RépondreSupprimerCracker flavored vanilla soy milk pudding skin? Yummy.
How cute are you? I remember the trying-to-close-your-lips smile. Useless and pointless. Practice a huge toothy grin in the mirror every morning. Also to practice: stand in front of mirror, fling arms out and shout, "ME!" as loud as you can. Repeat until you feel better or at least start giggling.
RépondreSupprimerOnly fourteen? Is that correct? Then you're doing well. You seem to fall very naturally into a stream-of-consciousness style of writing. At first, I thought you might have been influenced by Joyce (still possible, I suppose). It would be interesting to keep up with your writing style as you develop.
RépondreSupprimerYou sho nuff were a cute 14-year-old with braces once upon a time. But you have such single-mindedness in your pursuits that you still look almost that young to us blog readers. Some of us are fourteen in our hearts, though we had to walk through some valleys to get back around to that state. I distrust your pudding recommendation, though. Pistachio is my favorite.
RépondreSupprimerOh, pistachio! Love that but they didn't have that one either. Next year in Jerusalem.
RépondreSupprimer32 years young,
H+P
P.S. Sra, your idea really works. Send me in, Coach! I'm ready to play! (Rickrickrickrick!)
Oh, 32, eh? Well, you still sound a bit like you've been influenced by Joyce. Makes for an entertaining read.
RépondreSupprimerEntertaining the troops is my core competency. And the Joyce thing is a very cool compliment. Thanks.
RépondreSupprimerYes, yes the braces smile!! Lip gloss, what a dilemna; also, you are handling this round of teeth tracks not so well probably because you care more about gunk than you did on your first trip through 14-land.
RépondreSupprimerThe best possible brace face is the constantly-open-mouth-with-smile strategy. This says, I know I have braces but I forget that I have braces, because my cheerful attitude about life keeps my lips recklessly unaware of them.
(I'm 14. Who do I write like?)
i don't know who but i sure do like you. ;-)
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